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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2020 17:27:46 GMT
I am currently writing a series of short, unconnected drabbles that I am planning to publish, once I'm done writing all of them. This is the first fic I have ever written, and I'd love to hear your feedback! It's unedited, so if there are any grammar/spelling issues please tell me.
Without further ado, here is one of my finished drabbles:
Expression. noun: A look on someone’s face that conveys a particular emotion.
He had seen that look in her eyes before, the night of the puppet show and Edelweiss. That expression of love and longing, reflected in her luminous blue eyes. Eyes that he could easily lose himself in. Eyes that when, even if she wasn’t speaking, conveyed her emotions so clearly that she didn’t have to say a word.
He’d seen it after their argument, when he had ordered her to pack her bags and return to the abbey. He’d seen it as they danced the Laendler, arms intertwined above their heads, losing themselves in each other’s gazes. When she had returned from Nonnberg, when the children broke the news to her of his engagement to the Baroness.
He could see it now, as they stood together in the moonlit gazebo, as he gently lifted her lips to his and tenderly, gently, kissed her for the first time, and as he grazed his lips delicately across her beautiful face.
“Oh, can this be happening to me?”
“For here you are, standing there, loving me, whether or not you should…”
“I love you.”
They must have done something good.
-fin-
What do you all think? is it any good? I'm nervous...
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Post by captainfraulein on May 12, 2020 20:07:39 GMT
I really love this! The way you write is so natural and emotive which makes it so interesting to read. Although it was short, your use of words had me captivated within seconds and I would love to read more!!!
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2020 20:11:46 GMT
I really love this! The way you write is so natural and emotive which makes it so interesting to read. Although it was short, your use of words had me captivated within seconds and I would love to read more!!! Aww thank you so much! I'm glad that you liked it. I am working on the prompts and will hopefully be finished in 2-3 weeks. Once I'm about halfway done I will start publishing them. |
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Post by Silver-White-Winters on May 12, 2020 21:34:38 GMT
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Post by Deleted on May 12, 2020 21:55:00 GMT
Thank you so much! Writing fanfiction has definitely been one of the ways that I've been doing to de-stress and calm myself during these odd times. I'll definitely start writing more of the drabbles faster, now that I know that you guys like them. Again, thank you!! |
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Post by indigoblue on May 12, 2020 23:44:06 GMT
Excellent! Let's have some more!
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2020 0:03:58 GMT
@indigoblue I'll post one more, but nothing else, because I dont want to give away too much.
Miracle. noun: a highly improbable or extraordinary event.
They had named the new baby Johannes. Maria could already see that he was the mirror image of his father, down to the piercing blue eyes and the stubborn temper. It had only been last night when she had been awoken by his loud cries at 2 in the morning. He had refused to stop feeding for nearly a half hour. She had nearly fallen asleep, and probably would have if Georg hadn’t been there to watch over the two of them.
But despite the fear and attention that a two month old infant required, Maria would have died to protect her son, and his seven older brothers and sisters. Having a child, as hard as it had been, was something she’d never forget for as long as she lived. Holding her son in her arms for the first time had made her cry from the joy and invincibility she had felt in that moment.
As the last few notes of the Edelweiss lullaby (the only thing that would successfully lull Johannes to sleep) tumbled out of her lips, and as she gently tucked the covers over her now slumbering peacefully little boy, she couldn't help but think, I have been blessed with a miracle.
What do you think? This still has to be edited, so excuse any errors in grammar or spelling. Or if it seems too rushed.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2020 3:30:30 GMT
You write very beautifully. I hope I can find someone in my future that appreciates things like this like you do.
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Post by Silver-White-Winters on May 13, 2020 5:17:17 GMT
Looooovvvvveeee it! M & G are goals!
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2020 11:22:58 GMT
@captainchristopher and @silver-White-Winters
Thank you! Your encouragement means everything to me.
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Post by Deleted on May 13, 2020 15:56:13 GMT
I'm trying to come up with a title, and I'm trying to decide between "Little Moments Make Life Big" and "30 Drabbles, 30 Days". What do you think I should choose? I'm leaning more towards "Little Moments Make Life Big" right now, but I might change my mind later on.
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Post by Silver-White-Winters on May 13, 2020 17:29:22 GMT
I'm trying to come up with a title, and I'm trying to decide between "Little Moments Make Life Big" and "30 Drabbles, 30 Days". What do you think I should choose? I'm leaning more towards "Little Moments Make Life Big" right now, but I might change my mind later on. I like "Little Moments Make Life Big". You could use the title: "It's The Little Things" or you could use the word "Moments" instead "Things". Either way, your decision. Can't wait to read the rest of the drabbles! |
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2020 4:59:08 GMT
@captainchristopher and @silver-White-Winters Thank you! Your encouragement means everything to me. Aww, thank you! |
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2020 18:59:32 GMT
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Post by augiesannie on Jun 8, 2020 23:01:28 GMT
I love drabbles even if I am behind on reviews. I like writing that leaves something to the imagination (I know this sounds funny because I have written some pretty adult content) and drabbles are perfect for that.
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Post by augiesannie on Jun 8, 2020 23:01:31 GMT
I love drabbles even if I am behind on reviews. I like writing that leaves something to the imagination (I know this sounds funny because I have written some pretty adult content) and drabbles are perfect for that.
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